Fighting For Friendship, Not Just Being Right

How do you respond to conflict with a friend? Are you quick to forgive, or do you tend to dig in to bring everything to light?

Scripture teaches that there is a time for both approaches.

In 1 Peter 4:7-8, Peter instructs the early churches to choose love and forgiveness first, allowing love to cover the hurts done to them. Sometimes, it's right to graciously let a minor issue come and go without allowing division.

However, in Matthew 18, Jesus speaks to those conflicts that aren't so simple. What do you do when someone sins against you in a way that you can't let go? Jesus teaches his people to use discernment and approach the person first, seeking the truth as they pursue reconciliation together. This requires immense humility from both parties.

No matter which scenario you're facing, the ultimate goal is to pursue that person the way God pursues His children. Rather than fighting over right or wrong, fight for your friendship. At its core, conflict is an opportunity for followers of Jesus to preach the gospel by loving others who have hurt them. It's not easy. It may never get easier! But conflict done well allows the world to see the love of Jesus in you.

Who can you reconcile with this week?

Dive Deeper

The next time you face conflict, consider three things:

1. Who do you go to first when you've been hurt?
   Go to the person who hurt you.

2. Why do you go to them?
   Go to fight for your friendship.

3. How do you go to them?
   Go in humility.

Watch this weekend's message for more.

Author: Molly Spikereit